Thursday, 26 April 2012

Nazis at the Center of the Earth


This film has all the elements you could possibly need to rank it up there as one of the worst films ever made ... the director must be thrilled! Zombie Nazis in gas-masks, flying saucers, former up and coming actresses reduced to this dog turd ... and Jake Busey.

Join our gang of 'the world's best scientists' as they dig for unknown materials in the wilderness of the Antarctic, stopping just long enough to create flesh eating viruses and abseil down hundreds of feet deep gorges in the ice.

Quite what, I wondered, Dominique Swain, star of Face/Off and Lolita was doing in this, I just couldn't fathom ... then I took a look at her IMDB list of credits and all became clear. Her career has taken an obvious swift nose-dive since her early promising days and this must surely be as near to the bottom of the barrel as she will go ... lets hope so for her sake!

If I have to say something good about this film, it's that occasionally, amongst the terrible computer generated effect, there is the odd glimmer of hope with a decent gory effect or two, but that really is no reason to sit through this tripe. Walk away from the bargain bin where this will no doubt be found and go and watch something else instead! Please. I beg you!

Thursday, 19 April 2012

August Underground's Mordum

                                Not a trailer, more the opening 1st 3 mins of the film
                                Actually couldn't find a trailer anywhere! Obv NSFW!

I sometimes wonder why I'm writing this blog, what the point of it is, and then I watch a film like August Underground's Mordum ... and then I realise that the reason I do this is that you guys out there never have to! This nasty, low-budget, poor quality (poor quality initially, but made worse quality to make it more real!) film is full of some of the worst sequences I've ever seen committed to film. We follow 3 main characters as they torture, rape and murder their way through innocent victims, in close-up and in your face style, just for their own enjoyment. There's no storyline at all, just one gruesome and sick-making sequence after another. Take for example the scene in which the female character repeatedly makes herself vomit over the 2 women they have tied up in the basement of their house. This in tern makes them vomit and before you know it, everyone is covered in sick and you'll wonder why you haven't already switched off. There is also a sequence which is so sickening, I'm actually loathe to even describe it here, so won't!!

Many of the scenes are quite realistic, considering the low budget of the film, and this adds to the 'snuff' feel of the film, but there's no enjoyment to be had, no resolve at the end, just you, sat in a dark room, feeling dirty and having to look normal people in the eye afterwards, wondering if they know what a little freak you are! I've probably made this one sound much better that it really is, honestly, truly, it's not. It's nasty and deserves to be locked away somewhere, and preferably never released again.