Saturday 20 April 2013

Creepozoids




Straight out of the so-bad-it's-good (but actually really bad) bargain bin this week is the ridiculously titled Creepozoids. Set in the long distant future of 1998 (oh boy!), a nuclear war has ravaged the Earth as we know it, leaving small pockets of human life battling for survival against mutant beings. A rag-tag group of survivors (including perennial Scream Queen Linnea Quigley) fall out of the acid rain into a long abandoned building. They very quickly realise that all is not right with their safe-house as they are picked off, one by one, by a rubber-suited mutant baddie!

The odd thing that really stuck me about this film is the contrast in it's special FX. The scenes of the team members 'melting' are actually really rather well done for a B Movie schlock-fest, but unfortunately it seems like the movie then ran out of budget and rubber-suited monsters, giant cuddly toy rats and a modificated dolls seem to have been the only choice to finish getting this film made. The acting is, putting it mildly, appalling and the script is less coherent than Lindsay Lohan on her way out of an 'All you can Drink' cocktail bar. By far my favourite moment is when the hero stops his team from firing on the mutant exclaiming 'Don't shoot, I don't think he means us any harm' and no sooner has he finished the sentence than he is blasting away with the rest of them.

Of course, people will say 'But it's a B Movie, it's meant to be bad' to which I would counter with 'Really? You know you should never start a sentence with But ...' ... But seriously, yes, it is a B Movie, and yes, it is meant to be bad, and it is, very successfully I might add. There is, however, a distinct line between bad and BAD and Creepozoids very quickly meanders into the latter. The final battle is laugh-out-loud ludicrous and if you're expecting a Sixth Sense style twist ending, you're going to be very disappointed, the makers clearly just ran out of money, ideas and enthusiasm. Having said all that of course, I'd still rather watch this car-crash than Twilight any day of the week!!

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